This Time Tomorrow


Forget Me Not

OpinionStephanie Gorsky1 Comment

Becoming a mom is all about learning. From the time your baby is born, you’re learning how to hold them, how to swaddle them, how to breastfeed and/or bottle feed them, how to burp them, how to bathe them, how to get them into a bedtime routine, how to balance being a mom and being a wife, how to still make time to invest into friendships outside of playdates with your kids, etc. Then your baby grows into a toddler and you’re suddenly thrown into learning how to tame a tornado toddler and how to teach them about life. There are so many things to learn, and the majority of the time, my brain is in overdrive. Trying to squeeze in an adult conversation, or a theological debate is practically out of the question - but that is what my spirit craves. Connection. Encouragement. Support. Quality time spent with specific women in my world who inspire and encourage me while challenging me and spurring me on toward being a better woman. My heart stirs in the early morning hours. Everyday. God is wanting to talk to me, wanting to strengthen me and equip me for my day. He tells me that He's proud of me. That I can tackle this day and that I can even do it really well. He gives me the desire to mentor young women, He fills me with dreams about leading worship and seeing people love Him and come to know him, He gives me hope for Parker’s future and how he will be a strong man of God with a deep love for people, He tells me I'm a good Mom and a good wife because I'm doing my best. He tells me that my best IS enough, even when I feel like I'm falling short (which is often). He tells me I have purpose and asks me why I’m still trying to find it when I have it?

Purpose can't be stolen… it's just gets hidden under piles of laundry and meal planning.

I feel like God has so much to say but my mind can only take in so much because it’s already so packed in there. I always feel so encouraged, unstoppable, ready to tackle the world - until I put down my coffee and actually start my day. Then come the toddler tantrums, dirty floors {side note: never get dark hardwood, ever. Never.}, snot on the {new} couch and a massive amount of poopy diapers to clean.

My patience thins and I become unnerved; the gentleness that God had just filled me up on quickly shows itself to the door and out comes this raging lunatic Mom who yells, “Don’t do that!”, “Stop spitting!”, “Don’t touch that!”, and so on. 

Throughout the past year, I’ve found myself feeling forgotten. It was a feeling I slipped into unconsciously, and has no correlation with my social life, but with my spiritual. I’ve found myself questioning what God has for me. Is this it? Has God forgotten about me? Is this all my life will ever be?  I began to feel purposeless and bought into a crippling lie. Actually, many crippling lies. I’m almost 20 weeks pregnant with our second child and caring for a toddler day-in and day-out. I don’t get payed to work outside of the home, being at home, caring for our son is my “job”. It’s exhausting and repetitive at times, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I, subconsciously, came into agreement with what the devil was whispering to me, “You’re just a mom. You don’t mean anything. You’re not getting anywhere in life. The dishes are your calling.” Those are hard words to swallow! Especially for someone like myself who, at one point, had known without a shadow of a doubt that God had a big plan for my life. Instead of breaking agreement with it right away, I allowed it to fester and take root in my heart - and I’m ashamed to say that I can’t actually pin-point when the lie first crept in, but I feel as though it ate up most of 2013, stole my joy and left me feeling empty.

Last year taught me that becoming a mom is indeed always about learning but the most important thing you need to learn is how to take God with you throughout your loud, routine-packed day. That is something I didn’t master in 2013 which is why those lies were able to stay in my life for as long as they did. God’s voice can be so easily drowned out by the noise and business of life; but I believe that 2014 is a year of purpose for myself and my family. I also believe that it can be a year of purpose for you if you choose it. It’s also a year of reclaiming my joy. Joy, much like purpose, can’t be stolen! It can be hidden, but at the end of the day: Your joy is YOURS. God gave it to YOU. Own it, claim it, declare it. I am!

I also believe 2014 is a year of opportunity for us.

Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream. - Lao Tzu 

I want 2014 to be a year of opportunity and dreams watered in optimism, not choked by feelings of failure or disappointment.

So, here is to 2014 being a year of purpose, opportunities and more learning.